I'm taking a break from my usual sports rants that I do to talk about something that I hear from a lot of people and I think it's kind of funny. This blog post actually started out as a Facebook status but it turned into something bigger. I'm currently watching a Masterchef episode (I'm a few behind at this point) and someone was given an opportunity to go to the next round without participating in the elimination test. If you don't watch Masterchef, it's actually pretty good as far as cooking shows go. I do have a Gordon Ramsay bias though.
This contestant refused the invitation for a "free pass" to make it into the next round. She said things like "I want to earn my spot in the next round, not become the next Masterchef by taking a free ride" and "everything in my life I earn." I hear these kinds of things from a lot of blue-collar people, a lot of them poor, a lot of them democrats. It's a point of pride. I think it represents this sense of integrity, this sense of honor and achievement, a sense of virtue. It all seems really misplaced. In fact, I think it's all rather selfish and self-serving while trying to give off the impression that it's noble and respectable.
I know this may rub some people the wrong way, and I apologize if it does. My intention isn't to offend, it's to show my opinion, my point of view. With that said, my opinion is that nobody makes it truly by themselves, no matter the level of success. First of all, you're not able to eat, poop, walk, talk, or do anything for the first few years of your life. You owe your existence here to your parents in more ways than one. That's a given...everyone makes that argument though. Still, your parents don't stop helping, influencing, teaching, and guiding you throughout your life. Your success is, at least in part, theirs as well.
Next, you have teachers who taught you things along the way. You owe a little bit to them for teaching you those things that enabled your success, right? You didn't learn anything on your own. By teachers, I don't mean just schoolteachers. Anyone who had a hand in enlightening you in some way is included here.
Of course you have people that are more successful individually. There are people that do more on their own, who are more entrepreneurial. There's no disputing that some people do more than others. My point is no one completely does it on their own, and to think so is selfish.
Opportunities present themselves in many ways. Not all of them are earned. Some of them come to you freely, either as gifts from God, the universe, or the simple fact that they just happen. Whatever you believe. This isn't meant to be a religious post; it's really not. Sometimes you just get lucky. I loved when a prominent member of the Spurs came out after they won their 3rd or 4th championship and basically said that there's always a little bit of luck in winning a championship. Without those breaks, those "free passes" that happen from time to time, you wouldn't be where you are.
When President Obama was up against Mitt Romney, he gave a speech that ended up as the central focus of the republican campaign. He was talking about a similar topic: how you get help in life and don't get where you are completely by yourself. I was shocked at how many people misinterpreted that saying for days, weeks, and even months! People today still think he meant that people don't build their own businesses...still. Whether you're a conservative or a liberal, it's important to know what he actually said and not what the media says he said. Here is what he actually said in that speech:
There are a lot of wealthy, successful Americans who agree with me — because they want to give something back. They know they didn’t — look, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own. You didn’t get there on your own. I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart. There are a lot of smart people out there. It must be because I worked harder than everybody else. Let me tell you something — there are a whole bunch of hardworking people out there. (Applause.)
If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen. The Internet didn’t get invented on its own. Government research created the Internet so that all the companies could make money off the Internet.
The point is, is that when we succeed, we succeed because of our individual initiative, but also because we do things together.
If it wasn't clear from context clues, something we learn in grade school, he summarized his thoughts in the beginning of the last paragraph. He didn't say people who build things shouldn't take any credit. Duh...why wouldn't we think the person who built a road didn't...I dunno...build the road?! I am still surprised when I see people who think the president said business owners didn't build their own businesses. Not even close...in fact, exactly the opposite.
His point was that we didn't do it alone. We had some help along the way, even if just in the form of parents and teachers. Monetary help, investments, opportunities, partnerships...all of these could constitute as help as well. To me, saying you made it on your own with no help, that you refuse to take help when it's given, is selfish. If you don't allow other people to do things for you, that is the same as refusing to show charity to others. It breaks the charity transaction.
In the competition on Masterchef, the contestant ended up doing fine. She didn't need the pass. But I've noticed this is a trend on the show because it happens several times. First of all, this is a game...it's a competition. Why wouldn't you try to win and take a free pass if someone said, "Hey, wanna go to the next round right now?" Secondly, there's no moral bonus points for not taking it, for not helping yourself. There's nothing wrong with helping yourself. There's nothing wrong with having money. Rich people aren't more evil than poor people. Sure, there are a lot of bad rich people, but there are also a lot of bad poor people. Just like there are good rich people and good poor people. But rich doesn't mean evil...according to Emerson, poverty is the one that demoralizes, not wealth.
Enabling is different. But if someone offers you something, especially if you're in a position where you need it, I'm not saying to take it. I'm saying that if you do take it, you shouldn't have to feel like less of a human or less of a success because of it. Even the great ones got some help.
